溫哥華
Buddha Heart: A Wise Way to Care for Self and Others
On January 6 th , 2023, Dharma Drum Young People Group (DDYP) invited Mr. David Listen, a certified mental health counselor, a Chan/mindfulness instructor, and a former Buddhist monk, to share his unique approach to self- care and caring for others from both the Buddhist and counselling perspectives. Through this talk, Mr. Listen shed light on some practical ways for audiences to not only care for ourselves and those close to us, but also those whom we may not know.
Mr. Listen started the talk by introducing the concept of “Buddha Heart,” which refers to living in a compassionate way, both towards ourselves and towards others, as guided by wisdom. David emphasized that compassionate intentions without wisdom can cause more harm than good when bringing those intentions into actions. Wisdom, as Mr. Listen defined, is self-awareness. Being directly and fully aware of our physical and emotional conditions brings an opportunity for us to obtain clarity. This clarity is in terms of what we truly need so that we can best care for ourselves and others. As Mr. Listen put it, if we know ourselves very well, likely we will know or have a sense of what other people may need.
Building on “self-awareness,” Mr. Listen introduced the concept of “selfless- awareness,” which refers to not being attached to our bodies, thoughts, and intentions. By recognizing that everything, including ourselves, changes in nature, and that we are inter-dependent on each other, we can avoid getting lost in self-centred thinking, which helps us loosen our attachment to ourselves and others. With this, we can help both ourselves and others be relieved from various forms of sufferings.
Nearing the end of this talk, Mr. Listen shared with us some basic practices to cultivate wisdom such as mindfulness practice and sitting meditation. The principle of these practices is to train and calm our minds so that we can be clearly aware of our bodies, thoughts, and intentions. On this note, Mr. Listen highlighted that having a balanced and healthy life is the foundation for developing wisdom, as guided by the Noble Eightfold Path.
At the end of the talk, Mr. Listen concluded that wisdom and compassion go hand in hand because in order for us to truly take care of ourselves and others, we must understand how to truly take care of ourselves.
During the Q&A session, Mr. Listen addressed many questions related to meditation practices and how they can be integrated into our daily lives. Some questions around setting boundaries being a form of self-care were also discussed during the sharing session. In response to this point, Mr. Listen stressed, being fully aware of our own conditions is key to determining how to truly take care for ourselves and others, that is, knowing when to draw boundaries and when to be an attentive listener.
As the evening drew close to an end, many shared that the talk was extremely inspiring, and brought home many helpful tips from Mr. Listen. Venturing into the new year of 2023, participants are motivated to continue to practice and grow, and to learn what it means to care for self and others with a Buddha Heart.
Written by DDYP 2023.01.13
Photo: Dharma Drum Vancouver Centre
心得分享
Positively Caring for Oneself and Others
Date: Jan 06, 2023
David Listen's talk regarding mental health and well-being was incredibly inspiring. He offered much wisdom in highlighting the intersection between Buddhism and mental well-being. The subject that resonated the most from his discourse was when he was talking about the importance of ensuring one's own well-being before one can help others. Using the example of an adult putting on an oxygen mask on oneself before a child in an airplane, he beautifully mentioned how, as Buddhists, it is in our Bodhisattva aspiration to save all sentient beings. Yet, we forget that we ourselves are among those to be saved. David emphasized that, because of the practice of outward compassion to help others, many of us forego the necessities of respite, nutrients, and sleep. However, in doing so, we cause suffering upon ourselves, and although we may think that persevering through such suffering without rest, we are helping others, we are blind to the fact that inevitably our suffering will spill onto others. Conversely, as we show compassion and empathy to ourselves, that will inevitably be projected outward to all sentient beings.
Such a vexation indeed resounds with me, as I often forget to say no to requests for additional work, whether for volunteering, shifts, or an extra assignment. I then find myself overwhelmed with work, where I lose sleep and patience, which evidently results in a deteriorated mood and mental health. Through David's reminder that we should be kind to ourselves and be willing to take a break, I could reflect on my current commitments and see that I was taking on too much work for myself. I realized that with all my obligations, I would be too fatigued and tired to do the things that are truly important to me, including practicing the Dharma. During the Q&A session, I asked David a question that was haunting me and, without an answer, continued to cause me anxiety and even shame. I asked David how we, as Buddhists, may overcome senses of guilt for failing to uphold Buddhist observances such as the 5 Precepts or daily meditation. Growing up in more Conservative and Orthodox Buddhist circles, I carried with me that the solution was frequent repentance for transgression or committing acts of bad Karma. I expected David to say the same.
He did, in fact, mention how repentance was something that can be done and is often emphasized, but it was what he proclaimed to be more important that really stuck with me. He said, "that before anything, Buddhist practice should be a positive experience and make us feel better, not worse." With that, he reminded me that by constantly worrying about my practice, I was turning the Dharma into a negative experience for myself. That is certainly not what the loving Buddha wants for me. Furthermore, David reminded us that the fact that we have Precepts to be broken in the first place is a step on our Buddhist journey that we should be incredibly proud of. Overall, this talk was an absolutely fantastic experience, and I feel truly honoured to have been able to participate in such an enlightening event hosted by Dharma Drum Vancouver Centre.
Written by Zhenyi Tsai 2023.01.13
Photo: Dharma Drum Vancouver Centre